The speed at which you opened this tab is, quite frankly, shocking and says a lot about your character.…if I left some half opened mail on the table would you tear into THAT the second my back was turned as well? Holy shit, Nosey Parker…
Since you’re here now I may as well indulge you with a few facts that are not QUITE as shocking as my credit card debt (but you already know that, don’t you?) but still not something you will read anywhere else other than my journal…and if you’ve looked through that I have no choice but to marry you, because as my spouse you cannot be compelled to testify against me in court.
I already have our china pattern picked out.
Here are the facts about me:
- Fun loving Sagittarius
- Mom, or mom-like-figure to 3 boys and a girl.
- Starter marriage didn’t gel, so I’m trying it again with more appropriate ingredients this time, which include but are not limited to; better husband, more kids, hot tub.
- I like to think I’m some sort of gangsta, but I always turn down my music at stoplights.
- I don’t like it when my food touches other food on my plate.
- I’ll never understand daylight savings, so don’t bother.
That’s probably as much as you need to know for now, but please continue to read and be impressed by the layers of complexity I peel back to reveal gems like the time I was asked to take a seat in the back of a police car, or the time I pretended to smuggle foreigners across the border. I am a feast for the senses…
**The contents of this blog are protected under international copy write law, but mostly the honor system. Take a penny, leave a penny. Use that big brain of yours and think up details of your own miserable life is what I’m trying to say.