Current status: No pants, BBQ sauce on keyboard.

I work from home right now.  When I tell people this, it is received with equal parts contempt, disbelief and patronizing smiles.  This is just the way it worked out for me at this moment in my life.  Another moment in my life might look like me woking at Build-A-Bear full time, creating Franken-bears for terrified children, but at this moment right now is working at home.

To maintain some semblance of consistency in my days, I try to stick to an itinerary.  Not the kind of itinerary with the subject line indicating it had been sent by a competent secretary after having been planned through a reputable corporate travel agent.
Re: Trip itinerary – Prague – Depart 03/18/2017 – Return 03/29/2017 *arrive 2 hours prior to departure times*

My itinerary is more like the email from that uncle who brings a bag of oranges to a baby shower, and insists he cured his gingivitis with Coke Zero and nicotine gum.
Re:  FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: LOSE BELLY FAT AND AVOID THE UPCOMING DRAFT THANKS OBAMA

Truly, there is a lot going on in that second email, and when I have the time, I will address it all.  Meanwhile, we can talk about how my day-to-day plan is a little more ‘freestyle’ than ‘actually planned’

When the children are here, my day starts by getting out of bed minutes before they have to leave for school, then yelling about their horrible time management until they have all run from the house.  Once they are gone I will build my first coffee and asses the day before me by ranking and redistributing all of my options.  My system relies heavily on notes from the previous day which highlight my efforts and where I left off.  In theory, these notes should provide an evolving timeline of momentum and progress.  Reality is not as optimistic however, and I am left on a daily basis with the same notes written in an honest intent that tomorrow will be different.  Tomorrow is the same note in different handwriting.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Working from home is a luxury which is completely wasted on me some days.  In my own defence however, you don’t really want this kind of employee in your office either, so I’m doing you al a favour by not taking up your precious time or offending your public sensibilities with my lack of bottoms.

Leave a Reply